Accepting Gifts

We had a guest speaker at church this past weekend, Tom Whiteman whose message was about purpose. He founded and runs Life Counseling Services; a Christian organization that is in the business of dealing with the pain of everyday life. Divorce, death, and addiction seem to be the most common. He made the point that we are either in a place where we need to receive grace, i.e. help from God and his people or we need to extend grace. The funny part is the people who need help usually don’t want it (or think they need it) and most people who are in a place to extend help don’t want to. We don’t want to deal with pain; our own or somebody else’s. And the really funny part is, we as living breathing humans will only find true meaning and happiness by dealing with pain. Those who choose not to face pain end up stuck, stuck in the same emotion day after day. I know people like this. I feel like this sometimes. Most days though I have come to terms with God’s love. This has been a long process and I’m still wrestling with the notion of unconditional love. A few years ago my family received a gift that we didn’t deserve. Through a work circumstance I have the privilege of working with a person still dealing with pain. A few years prior to our meeting he and his wife lost their youngest daughter in a freak accident. Their daughter was in college and had what most people thought was her whole life in front of her. She was one of those people who loved life and people. She was that person you meet and always remember. I have come to know her through her parents and the wake of joy and pain she left behind. Sometimes I would catch her father in a moment of memory that would bring a smile followed by tears. One of the ways her parents decided to deal with the pain was to do something nice for somebody every year. This usually is timed with her birthday and her parents took my family to Disney for a week. They took care of our flight and our lodging. It is important to know that I have five kids. They also acted as our personal guides taking us through all the parks. This had been their family’s routine for the past twenty years. The week was amazing and my children will remember the week their whole lives. The hardest part was accepting this gift I didn’t disserve. Basically my family got to go to Disney for a week because of a senseless death. I went through some very mixed emotions accepting this gift. Before we left, my wife and I came to the conclusion that the best way to accept this gift was to go with grateful hearts and have the best time we could. Now that a little time has passed since the trip I am coming to realize that the trip was a lot like God’s gift to all humanity. Facing the idea that God loves us no matter what is difficult. I don’t deserve it but there is nothing I can do to make God love me less. This is the way parents love their children. This unconditional love is what enables people in their deepest pain to give the gift of joy.